When I woke up this morning, I had fantasies of plowing through all the tasks and deadlines that had accumulated. The sun has long since set and it is well into the evening and I find very little has been marked off my list. Even though I'm recovering quickly from surgery and am getting better every day, I just can't seem to find my stride. Simple things that I used to do without even thinking just seem so exhausting now. I feel a little wobbly, like my equilibrium is off... which very well may be true since they did remove a large portion of my flank. I don't know. I feel like I'm at a standstill, like things have piled up impossibly high.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Piled...
When I woke up this morning, I had fantasies of plowing through all the tasks and deadlines that had accumulated. The sun has long since set and it is well into the evening and I find very little has been marked off my list. Even though I'm recovering quickly from surgery and am getting better every day, I just can't seem to find my stride. Simple things that I used to do without even thinking just seem so exhausting now. I feel a little wobbly, like my equilibrium is off... which very well may be true since they did remove a large portion of my flank. I don't know. I feel like I'm at a standstill, like things have piled up impossibly high.
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5 comments:
I know that feeling.
The good news is that things will wait, or they won't, but everyone will understand why you are running behind.
I hope you can find a pace that lets you check things off every day, but still take time for naps, and good food, and to be kind to yourself.
Can't wait to have you here this winter.
One thing I've learned through all of this is that I just have to give into the Universe. It's important to slow down sometimes and take time for yourself, otherwise you'll be forced to slow down and not in a good way. It's frustrating to say the least. I want so very much to be one of those people who gets massive amounts of work done and have everyone happy and grinning... myself included.
I can't wait until I find my stride again. Albeit a slower and gentler one, but one where I get things done. Maybe I'll be able to read a book again. At this point it feels like I'll never be able to read again.
This winter will be fantastic! I'm looking forward to my time with you greatly!
There was a wall hanging in my oncologist's office that said "In the end, all that will matter is how well we lived, how well we loved and how well we let go". Once I mastered the part about letting go, life got a whole lot easier.
Be easy with yourself. You will heal.
Cenya
You will find your stride. And until then just do what you can and be happy with what you can accomplish. Remember, this is not like a cold or the flu where you can get over it fairly quickly. You had surgery, and your body needs proper time to heal. Enjoy this slower pace. Who knows what you might discover by slowing down a bit.
You've been through a lot, Andrew. Your old zip will come back, but it will take a little bit of time. Hang in there!
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