It's strange to be back in my old hometown. It feels like so much has happened since I've lived here, to me and to the area. I can't escape the nostalgia. I am flooded with thoughts and memories that are distinctly tied to this place - this place that is not my home anymore.
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself from the corner of my eye in a reflection and I see myself as I once was. I used to be so eager to get out there in the world, make a name for myself and change everything. I felt righteous and angry and so driven. Nowadays, I think I'm more patient and not so quick to act. I still get fired up about certain things, but at the same time I think I've learned that there are many ways and my way might not be the best way for everyone and that there are some things in life that cannot be changed by a single person. It may sound as though I've lost my zest for life or that I've somehow lost my claws as they say, but I now see that there are different types of change and different ways of causing change, that I am not separate from the world and the world is not separate from me and that by doing what I love and feels right will effect far more people in an intimate way than me struggling for what I've been told is the height of success. The world is beautiful and each day is an opportunity to see that if we don't lose sight of simply what's arround us.
2 comments:
You are not losing you zest for life but are living YOUR life. You are finding out what works and what does not - you are growing!
I am back home where I grew up - just for the summer - I coundn't wait to get away from here when I was younger and swore I would never come back, yet here I am!
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