Friday, July 02, 2010

Self-Portrait Friday...

I think one of the things that I've tried to do with my self-portraits is impress upon the fact that I'm a real person. Each week, I put myself out there, revealing everything on my face. Needless to say, I put myself outside of my comfort zone. I've grown to be quite introverted in this regard over the years and don't generally like to be in front of the camera anymore.


The blog has been a great way for me to reach out and share my thoughts, as well as build community and forge friendships. I have found though, that it is also a place that proliferates mythology and false expectations. I'm no guru or enlightened spiritual guide. I've never claimed to be anything of the sort. I'm on this journey, just like everyone else. I'm trying to figure things out, just like everyone else. I'm a real person. That means that I can be silly, I can get angry, I can be sad, I can be a lot of things to a lot of different people.

I was taught from a very early age that "expectation breeds disappointment". Or as my mama says, "Don't count the chickens before the eggs hatch." If I've let you down from an uneventful meeting, or I didn't live up to what you thought I'd be like, or wrote a blog post that you didn't like, or reacted in a way you didn't think I would... I apologize that you were let down. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. But at the same time, I made no guarantees or promises and I refuse to apologize for being myself.

17 comments:

Nicki said...

You look a bit angry on this picture - but every real person has those kind of days too, right?
Just wanted to let you know that you always were nicer than I was expecting.

MoonRae said...

thank you for your honesty and candor....you are beautiful

Christina said...

I have had the pleasure of chatting you up at several large bead shows and would like you to know that these conversations were invariably remembered as highlights of the event. Your good cheer, positive outlook, creative happiness and natural inquisitiveness are very attractive qualities that you exude quite naturally. Your kindness and generosity are also far and away above the norm of the crowd.
From the gal you rewarded (twice!) with the lovely bumbleboy,
Christina Vandervlist

kate mckinnon said...

You could have written the last two paragraphs of this post straight from my heart.

kathyd said...

andrew you have never let me down.
meeting you in person was a treat .
you are very kind and thoughtful.
i love the photo's .

Janet said...

What I admire about you is that you are so real! Searching feeling and not afraid to jump out into the possibilities. You are such a friend indeed you are so real! ox

Zoe Nelson said...

I think that the purpose of reading someone's blog is to get to know that person. I say the mean people should just stop reading! What's with all that judgement, anyway? Keep on being yourself. I wouldn't want to read anything else.

Ellen Stoune said...

I wrote this post on Kate's blog and it certainly applies to you too.

By the way, I got your package with the Basha bead and your little piece of art that you tucked into the bag. Lovely! All of it! Beautiful! I'm thrilled speechless.

Okay, here's the comment:


You know.. (and this is directed at both you, dear Kate, and Andrew).. most people are just so scared shitless of their own shadow. Then they read your stuff and they a) get mad at themselves because they could never in a million years be as honestly out there as you and they decide to take it out on you because their cowardice makes them real upset or b) they take “the moral high ground” because no one of any respectability would ever be so honestly out there as you and they feel the need to “educate you” on the error of your ways or c) cheer you on because we love how honestly out there you are and we thank our deity every day that you share yourself so boldly and unapologetically because, while we are few, there are those of us who revel in living the examined life and with souls like you, we are comforted to know we are not alone.

Sincerely,
A Fellow Anti-Walmarter ~ Ellen

PS: Here is a big cyber hug for you too ’cause I just think you’re neat!

The Daily Beader said...

I just started reading your blog recently and am overwhelmed your generosity, your creativity, and you as a person!

I think anybody has dark days and wwe're allowed to express what we truly feel. Keep being you! That's all that matters.:)

Alice said...

Andrew, you've got 365 followers at the time I write this (that's one fan for every day of the year!). If that isn't proof that you are well liked and admired, I don't know what is.

Most of us followers know that it is not YOUR job to keep us happy, or to inspire us each and every day, or to spill out some spiritual gobbeldy gook that will save the world, or to solve our personal problems.

You are talented, open, kind, refreshing, fun, giving, and true to yourself. 'Nuf said.

Heather Powers said...

Hey Andrew - thanks for being you and sharing whatever you feel like on your blog. I enjoy the peeks into your world and creative process.

Trish said...

Thank you for being you Andrew and for putting yourself out there - you are a wonderful creative soul.

Spirited Earth said...

No one can make us angry. People can say and do things to us but it is still up to us as individuals to do what we want with our emotions in response to those things.

i saw that quote not long ago, it was food for thought for what i was experiencing at the time..
another one i like..
you can't be all things to all people..

it's difficult enough trying to just be oneself without a load of expectations being dumped onto you.
don't let some folks get you down.

Emerald Window said...

I'm impressed with your self portraits. I don't like having my picture taken. Maybe that would be cathartic for me? Hmmm.
No need to apologize for anything. No expectations here except for a good read (and I'm never disappointed).
Cenya

kvk said...

It infuriates me that such a gentle soul has to suffer the verbal abuse of people living vicariously through you.

This self portrait looks like how mine tend to turn out. I'm not mad or unhappy or grumpy, probably leaning towards pensive, but for some reason that's how the camera interprets my image.

Maybe what my self portraits actually show is the invisible "don't f*** with me" sign on my forehead. I can loan you one if you like.

head up, sign blazing, straight on to amazing.

hugs - kvk

Lynn said...

My creed:

be what you are.

you live it - you inspire your readers to do the same. Who could ask for more?

Shaiha said...

I don't think that I would read your blog so consistently if you didn't have both your bad and good days. It's the fact that you are so refreshingly real (and are such a good cook) that draws me back day after day.