Friday, May 16, 2008

Learning to Accept...

So, I missed some deadlines and I'm surrounded by half-finished projects.

Part of me is really upset about this. I've spent lots of time and money on these things. Many nights I've only slept a handful of hours, because I've been working hard on finishing everything up. I've sacrificed time with my friends and family so that I could complete them.

Alas, I've seemed to have bitten off more than I can chew.

But I think there's a lesson in this. At first I thought it was about knowing my limitations and accepting my limitations. From a logistical point of view, that sounds good and safe. But as I typed those words out, I felt a deep sense of rebellion and abjection. The heart of what makes my work work, is that it dreams BIG and is paved with a thousand little details. Even in my most minimalist works, the heart is found in the attention I pay to the little things - surfaces, finishes, materials, the rituals of process, and little secret things that only I know about. Without these things, my work falls flat. I think it still has merits, but ultimately it's a watered down version.

I set out to write a post on how I needed to learn to accept the limitations of others - deadlines and schedules and logistics. What I came out with was something far more valuable - learning to accept myself.

So... maybe I didn't finish in time to be the grand master sparkle king or I won't be included in such and such magazine or this book or that one. But at least I tried and stuck to my principles of not compromising my work.

3 comments:

*melanie* earthenwood studio said...

Thank you Andrew, for this thoughtful post. I can relate.

And you are absolutely the Grand Sparkle Master King in my book...

Andrew Thornton said...

Ha ha ha... thanks Melanie!

I think in the rush to get things done, sometimes the core values of what makes working special to me gets lost along the way. The voice of what I want to say becomes muddled.

It's not healthy for the creative soul.

With that said, I'm going to try to catch up on some much needed cleaning and then take the evening off and spend it just on things I want to do - dictated by no one but me.

*melanie* earthenwood studio said...

Good for you! Its funny, I wrote about balance and work and health today in my blog too.

have a great evening.