Learning to Accept...

So, I missed some deadlines and I'm surrounded by half-finished projects.

Part of me is really upset about this. I've spent lots of time and money on these things. Many nights I've only slept a handful of hours, because I've been working hard on finishing everything up. I've sacrificed time with my friends and family so that I could complete them.

Alas, I've seemed to have bitten off more than I can chew.

But I think there's a lesson in this. At first I thought it was about knowing my limitations and accepting my limitations. From a logistical point of view, that sounds good and safe. But as I typed those words out, I felt a deep sense of rebellion and abjection. The heart of what makes my work work, is that it dreams BIG and is paved with a thousand little details. Even in my most minimalist works, the heart is found in the attention I pay to the little things - surfaces, finishes, materials, the rituals of process, and little secret things that only I know about. Without these things, my work falls flat. I think it still has merits, but ultimately it's a watered down version.

I set out to write a post on how I needed to learn to accept the limitations of others - deadlines and schedules and logistics. What I came out with was something far more valuable - learning to accept myself.

So... maybe I didn't finish in time to be the grand master sparkle king or I won't be included in such and such magazine or this book or that one. But at least I tried and stuck to my principles of not compromising my work.