Goodbye, Grandma...

It's been a week since I've last posted. It feels so strange to have been away for so long. It's probably one of the longest absences I've taken from blogging. My grandma died and I wanted to spend time devoted to my family. The little things, like making dinner and washing dishes and running after my niece, were a balm to soothe the hurt. Some days, despite the daily distractions of living, it was hard to get out of bed and get going. Those were usually cold mornings - ones where the world outside seemed a little too much and burrowing down into the comfort and safety of the cocoon of blankets was all there was to do to get through.

I couldn't talk about it. Or maybe, more aptly put, I wouldn't. I don't think I was ready. Now, I guess, I am...


My grandma, Attrice, was born on April 3rd, 1920 in Center Ridge, Arkansas to Lee Ernest and Margaret (Bryant) Holloway. She never went by her first name, but instead went by Aulene. She said that her grandmother dubbed her with the name and it stuck. Even her own son, (my uncle), was originally called, Brian, but eventually was tagged by my great great grandma with the name, Jerry.


My grandma got married to my grandpa, Roland Thornton, on November 16th, 1940. They had four children. Above is a picture of my grandma holding my Uncle Jerry in front of their first house. My grandpa built the log cabin himself. They didn't have a lot of money. My grandpa was in the service until he was injured in Germany during World War II. Afterwards, they primarily farmed and worked odd jobs like picking cotton and selling watermelons. Grandma also did canning and sewing on the side to help ends meet.


Grandma is pictured with her four sisters in the image above. From left to right: Edna Mae, Aulene (my grandma), Bernice, Laverne, and Ola. Grandma also had three brothers. After Aunt Edna Mae died a week before my grandma, she was the last surviving sibling.


In this picture taken in the summer of '92, grandma is holding a fish they caught with my grandpa and their friends, Adeline and Omar. Grandma and grandpa were always fishing. Grandpa found great amusement in taking us grandchildren out on the boat and sidling up to the gators. Some of the best fish I've ever had was sitting at her kitchen table. She'd Fry Daddy some crappie (pronounced /ˈkrɑpiː/) and fry up some potatoes. Grandma was such a good cook. She had a talent of taking a few simple ingredients and making really satisfying and delicious food.

Above is a picture of my grandpa and grandma at their 50th wedding anniversary. All of their friends had organized the party. Both of them were extremely popular and were always going to see someone or have someone come by. It seemed like there was always a family friend from the Ozarks or a neighbor dropping by to say hello or gossip a little. Grandma was sassy. She'd tell it like it was. She'd never say anything negative about anyone, at least not without first prefacing it with, "Bless their soul..."

Grandma lived to be 88. The picture above was taken at one of her birthday celebrations. I remember that she was quite pleased with the cake because of the white roses on the cake. She had a beautiful garden. I remember that she had a rose bush that had the most intoxicating smelling roses that were easily the size of my face and pots and pots of orchids. She took great pride in her garden and flowers.

Here's a picture of grandma striking a pose and strutting for the camera. This photo was taken in 1982.

Above is a picture of my grandma holding me and my cousin James. We used to spend the summers at grandma's house for as long as I can remember back. One summer, they were having work done on their septic tank, which revealed a rich vein of Ozark clay. James and I asked if we could make mud paddies on the back step. Sheila and my cousin Donald came around and smashed the paddies. Grandma got furious at them for ruining our mud paddies and for getting mud stains on their great big white house. She told me a story about how when she was a girl, she and her sisters would go down by the river to make little sculptures and her brother, CF smashed her sculptures. So, she understood and always made sure that the "little ones" got a chance to make stuff.

I think those many years of hardwork led grandma to become very fun-loving. She was a fearsome game player and she'd throw down with any of us kids. We'd play Sorry! and Hand and Foot. She wouldn't let any of us win unless we won on our own merits.

My grandma was the supreme crafter. She was always sewing or making dolls or quilting. I remember one summer, grandma took my sisters and my female cousins to the quilting circle at the local church. I, of course, wanted to go. I was my grandma's little shadow and was always curious what she was doing and making. Also, if Sheila could do it, then I could do it too. At least that was my logic back then. The boys went to the bait shop. It was interesting, but I still wanted to go with grandma. After they came back, grandma took me into her sewing room, which was usually off limits to us kids and she showed me how to sew.

I miss my grandma, but I am comforted by many memories of her.

Goodbye, Grandma.