Monday, November 28, 2011

A Song for Small Things...

"One.  Two.  Three.  Breathe."  Those are the words I said as I sat down to write this post.  In the six years that I've had this blog, this is perhaps the most sporadic that I've updated.  Usually I post on a daily basis... sometimes even more!  But lately I've had a hard time connecting to this medium.  It's not for lack of things to say or because I don't want to do it.  I do.  But it has been difficult summoning up the mental fortitude to sit down and write and express my thoughts in this digital forum.

In the past few weeks, I've received dozens of emails and messages from concerned readers, asking how I am and if everything is okay.  After going back and reading the last couple of entries, spaced a week apart at a time with the occasional insubstantial filler speckled in between, I can see how my "phoning it in" could be cause for alarm.

But I am fine.  Actually, I am better than fine.  Small things have been shifting.  They are not the things one marks their life by or even particularly notice much, but the subtle changes are starting to move the pieces into place.  The puzzle is revealed to be a doorway to an unfamiliar path.  I find myself in new territory.

And maybe that's why I haven't been writing as much.  It's hard to sing confidently when you're just learning the words to a new song.  You can hum along – surprisingly well at times even – but until you've  taken time to really get to know the new material, it still doesn't sound quite right.

So in my time away, I've been familiarizing myself with this new tune.  I have been adjusting and harmonizing.  I've been singing in the mirror when no one has been looking.  And frankly, I'm excited by all the new prospects that lie ahead.

I'm liking this new song.


Alice said...

Good for you for trying out a 'new song'. Soon you'll be able to belt it out with confidence. And there's joy in that.

TesoriTrovati said...

Andrew, I don't know how I have missed this post except that I too have been experience a sea-change. A shift in the wind that is making me to lose momentum at times, to go under, only to resurface gasping for air. Sometimes it feels as if the wind is at my back, and other times, like know that I am fighting to stand tall in the face of these currents. I know what you are going through must be faced personally, but you know that if you ever need anything, there is a great big world of people who care. Count me as one. You wrote so eloquently about this struggle. I wish that I had the same sort of poetic words. But I do think that you will be singing this new song and others will be chiming in! Have I ever told you that I like to sing? So count me in on the harmony! ;-)
Enjoy the day!

SummersStudio said...

Beautifully written, Andrew, and so perfectly expresses what I think many of us go through when we experience change. Thank you for sharing this.