Thursday, July 14, 2011

Purpose...

I stood on the deck, taking in the last light of day. I absorbed the moment of painterly skies and the feelings coursing through me. The past few days have been awash with mixed emotions. The undertone of everything.... simple exhaustion. It unifies and bridges the disparate thoughts and impressions. So much has been happening.

The store is slowly taking form. Every sentence, every word, every piece of paper, every email is an imaginary timber reinforcing this dream. We're still waiting to get back some of the final paperwork, but the biggest leap... the decision to do it... has been taken. It is scary. It is exciting. It is thrilling. It is daunting. It has been unfurling in my brain and I lay awake at night, not being able to take advantage of those few moments delegated for rest. The switch has clicked in my brain though and it's only a matter of time before it's real.

This week hasn't just been about the NEW. I've been thinking a lot about my friend Amelia, who passed away three years ago. Maybe it's because of all the new that the anniversary of her being gone has struck me so hard. I think about how unfair it is that her life was snuffed out so early. I think about all the things she wanted to do – all of the things that she dreamed of – and didn't get to do.

I've also been finishing up the last of the shipping for Virtual Yard Sale. I've been pouring my gratitude and positive energies into each and every package. It hasn't been easy. At times it seemed like an endless stack of hay needing to be spun into gold. I am happy to say that I am done and have almost completely paid off my medical bills. From an impossible number, to a manageable few hundred... it is simply amazing! I'm done with the shipping and everything should be where it is meant to go or on its way, carrying with it all my good intentions.

With everything going on, you wouldn't think that there was much time for anything else. But I have been working steady on deadlines for future publications. I feel really honored to be able to do this. It's a lot of work, especially with everything else going on, but it's good work and the projects I'm making and the things I'm writing about are creatively invigorating!

So, I feel filled with purpose... I carry with me my friends, my family, my community... those who are still with me and those who have departed. I move through obstacles, embracing destiny and opening myself to unexpected opportunity. It's a good feeling. And when I think about how tired I am, I know that it is because I have been doing things with purpose.

4 comments:

taralinda said...

What a swirl of fire energy and good news!
I remember the special blue necklace you made for your friend. Maybe you could post a photo of it again here...?

Andrew Thornton said...

Hey Tara,

The necklace ended up going to her mom. It feels right that it should go to her. Here is the address to see theh piece: http://andrew-thornton.blogspot.com/2010/07/one-in-million.html

I think once the shop gets more settled in, I'll do another fundraiser. I found out recently that there's an Ellsworth Ausby scholarship fund too, so that'll be another program that I want to raise money for.

Therese's Treasures said...

Congatulations on the shop and getting enough sales to almost pay off your medical bills. I know the feeling of starting a new branch in your tree of life, it is excitment and worry all wrapped up in one. Sending good vibs your way!
Therese

TesoriTrovati said...

This is all such good news, Andrew! I will have to go back and read a few of your posts because I feel that I may have missed a few things. But I am so happy to know that you are moving in a direction that is good for you.
Enjoy the day!
Erin