Monday, April 04, 2016

All The Gifts...

In life, we are often times told to sit down and to shut up.  We are put down, held down, and made to feel less than.  Sometimes those messages are communicated in direct orders and sometimes they come from societal pressures, silent but persistent.  Whether we want to or not, the messages hammered into our hearts and minds shape the way we live.  They are blows to the subconscious, like a blacksmith's dint.

I'm here to say... if you are sad, I give you permission to be happy.  If you are feeling lonely, I grant you serenity and comfort.  If you are suppressed, I tell you to stand up and stand tall.  If you are hurt, I compel you to heal.  If you are silenced, I implore you to raise your voice and be heard.  If you are without love, I give you love.

I give you all these things.  I give them away freely and without expectation.  I give them away so easily because they are not mine to give.

Ultimately, my words mean nothing.  They are sounds that come out of my mouth and words that dance across the page, but they hold no special power.  The power to realize and actualize your best self resides in you.  Each of us carries within ourselves the ability to achieve the person we hope to become.  We can be powerful.  We can be strong.  We can be wise.  We can be all the things we dream to be.

You might be thinking... what gives him the right to tell me anything?

And really... I have no right.  I am just someone who was told that I was wrong.  I was told that I was defective and broken.  I was told that I was unworthy and a waste of space.  I was told that I was a monster and an abomination.  I tried not to believe them, because surely they were mistaken, but even so, in the dark hours and the quiet times, I would wonder... are they right?

In that dark mirror, I did not see myself.  I saw what they told me to see.  And even though everything within me rebelled at this and I felt uneasy wearing the skin they'd pieced together for me, a small part of me listened to their words.  But as I looked closer and deeper, I noticed that that image was cracked.  And if I looked closer still... I could see between the lines and past the false self blinking back at me.  I could see the real me shining through.  And I realized that their words meant nothing.  The power they had over me was the power that I gave them.  And if I wanted to be happy, comfortable, proud, and whole... I had to give myself that strength.  I had to raise my voice to break the bell jar.

I give you all these gifts... not because they are mine to give, but they are yours to take. They already belong to you.


Marybeth said...

Andrew, I know we have never met but I want to tell you what I often would have loved to hear when those dark moments took me over. You are special, you are worthy, you mean something and you are loved.

Andrew Thornton said...

Thank you, Marybeth! All these words live within each of us. When it is the hardest, that's the most important time to listen deep and hear them. You are special, you are worthy, you mean something and you are loved too!

Rebecca said...

This is such a wonderful post. Thank you.

Ann Schroeder said...

I love this post.