Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Living In Alignment...

The title of this post might be more aptly named, "Living Out of Alignment".  Because that's what I've been doing.

I always end my letters with the words, "Simplicity Always".  It's not because I'm a minimalist or think that things should be the classic definition of "simple" but that our daily actions should be infused with a sense of grace and purpose – living in alignment.  It's kind of like the tightrope walker who seems to effortlessly balance a million things and easily walk across a rope suspended high above the ground.  It takes time, practice, patience and most importantly – confidence.  Having faith in yourself and your abilities to do what needs to be done and to do it well... that is a key ingredient.  Writing this out whenever I end an email or a letter is a reminder of the importance of this mantra.

But I have not been adhering to this guiding principle and I think it has shown.  I've tried to do all the things I did before, but being out of sync with myself, it's really been a mess.  At first they were tiny fractures, almost too small to perceive at all.  But then as time went on and they started to spiral outwards, the cracks grew.  Somedays I would do better.  And I would feel like everything was under control, but then the next day the feelings would return and it seemed like I had sunk that much further.  Two steps forward, three steps back.  I guess this is what they call a crisis.

So what do you do when you find yourself amidst a crisis?

The first step is to admit that there is something wrong.

Now comes the hard part... doing something about it.

For the past few weeks I have been actively weeding out the negative individuals in my life and clearing out the mental clutter that pollutes and propagates.  It hasn't been easy.  These things have roots that go deep and the only way to get them all the way out is to dig deeper. I wish that I could say that everything was resolved, but it's taking time... lots of time.. and it'll take more time as I continue to pull back the layers and fix what has been broken.

The other part of actively realigning myself is to address the promises that I've made.  They're kind of like pebbles.  One or two outstanding things-to-do don't weigh so much... but compounded by a hundred... then it starts to get heavy.  A thousand pebbles make a boulder.

I also have to remove what's not necessary and focus on what is.  What's important?  How can I best honor the things that are my primary focus?  Can I delegate things?  Can I ask for help?  Are there better ways of doing things so that there's more time to devote to the things that make me a better and happier person – someone who is aligned?  These are questions that I have been asking myself and am finding surprising answers.

As an artist and a maker, one of the other things that is of dire importance is to find time to make again.  It's about getting in touch with my Muses and allowing them to move through me, as a vessel of creativity.  Everyday I want to make something new.  It could be crap or it could be a masterpiece, just as long as it's something.  I draw a line every day to remind myself that I'm an artist, but it needs to be something more.  Those lines need to converge.

This is me and here is my confession... I am just another person, working to try and find meaning and purpose once again to be centered and to act from an internal space of peace and pure alignment.


SummersStudio said...

And you will find that meaning and purpose once again because you have already done the hardest part. I think that doing the painful, at least most often it is, act of weeding out your priorities, identifying your needs, and sometimes discarding things/people who once were important is the very first step. I wish you well on this journey.

Patty said...

Simplicity...it's so hard to live, isn't it? There is always "more" to add, "more" to do. I admire you for going through this process, and can't wait to see your metamorphosis. I know it will be fantastic.

Lorelei Eurto said...

I'm not sure what you're going through but I will pray that you find that balance and be happier than you've ever been. Let me know if you need anything.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you energy, clarity and vision on your journey.

Therese's Treasures said...

All will be well Andrew, you are on the right path.

Lori Bowring Michaud said...

Best of luck to you Andrew as you continue to excavate. I, too, have been working on this over the past year. It's hard, it's a grieving process, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel - that alignment you're looking for. Peace.

Joan Tucker said...

a sort of Voltaire quote: "Tend your own garden" I have used it when life was crushing every spark of creativity from me. You close your eyes, ask what is good for you and do it.

Best of luck when your "house" cleaning; letting go always allows the new to arrive.

Hugs, Joan T

Third Eye Gypsy said...

Your words seem to pour out effortlessly and with such deep meaning, Andrew. Your writing is such poetry to read :)

I'm sorry you have been going through some hard times with people and tasks. I have recently found that it seems like as different as we all are we all seem to have the same hardships.

sending prayers and peace your way.

xo Genea