I am, by nature, a very private and introverted sort of person. A life as a stoic researcher of lost civilizations buried behind books and ancient scrolls, or a life as an monkish icon painter squirreled away painting by candlelight in a crumbling monastery would suit me just fine.
In quiet and solitude, I collect and percolate. Ideas germinate and there's much internal activity. It's like my brain becomes a sponge and every little detail of every nuance gets soaked up. Ideas are king here.
But that's only one side of the coin. It may be the most natural state, one that left on my own would be the dominate, but there is another... polar aspect. While it is the less "regular" state, it can't be ignored, because it is there and of the two, it is the louder one. This other side is a showman and socialite. Careers as a glittery party promoter, multitasking event organizer, or BOTH at the same time come easily to this more bombastic and fun-loving caricature.
In friction and excited stimulus comes rapid growth, fast-firing ideas, and the execution of long-waiting things. In this state, everything is happening on the surface or outside of me. Nothing penetrates deeply and it's all about the general feeling, the movement and zeitgeist. Action trumps all in this state.
Somewhere in between is the glue that holds these two facets together. Its role shouldn't be underestimated. The two sides are just crystalline formations of the same material. Neither is dishonest or disingenuous. The coin, whether flipped one way or another, is the same coin.
But what does this all have to with anything?
While we prepare to open Allegory Gallery, I've been thinking a lot about myself and the events that have led up to this moment. I've been thinking about what it'll take to make everything work. It seems like for a long time, I've been choosing between sides. For the past few years, I've done everything in my power to isolate myself and hide away in my tower. Before that, I did everything I could to put myself out there. I've been cycling through these personas.
But now comes a unique challenge, one that can't be faced singularly, but one that requires both sides to work in unison and connect. It's time to move from Analytic Cubism to Synthetic, moving from singularly isolating facets of myself to merging the two, into a single Whole. It's Time to Grow. It's time to embrace the "glue".
It's strange really. In this process I never really expected to make such discoveries. When the ball started rolling and the pieces started to fall into place, I never thought that it would form a mirror – a looking glass of revelation, self-realization and internal reflection.
I guess it's aptly named.
4 comments:
So eloquently written Andrew, you sound like the kind of person who I would like to have a heart to heart with. I used to be much more quiet and not share much of myself but now I find myself open, accepting and loving of all things that are presented to me.
Very well put. And you've reached a certain nirvana when you get to use both sides in concert.
How'd you get so wise and eloquent? There's an old soul in that young body. So beautifully said ... Will need to read this a couple more times for it all to soak in.
blessings
I can definitely relate to this but could not have said it so eloquently.
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