Left to my own devices, I can suffer through the brunt of it. The sticky part is that under this kind of pressure, I need quiet and solitude and to let the autopilot run. If I try to plan and budget time too tightly or be around other people... it just doesn't work. It's like I'm firing blanks at a fast approaching monster. I feel guilty because I'm at my family's place and I enjoy spending time with them and want to, but I know I just won't get the work done that needs to get done. On a normal day, a minor disagreement about what time I should go to practice driving means nothing in the grand scheme of things. In a way, I've grown to appreciate it. But... when I'm already under pressure, it feels like nails embedded in my skull. Instead of zoning out and working through my deadlines, I start fixating on every word said and it's just not productive.
Right now... the world is spinning madly on.
7 comments:
Wine. White or red - your preference. Administer min. 1 glass/evening. May up dosage as required. Do not exceed your personal level, or the next day will be worse. Studies show liberal consumption can relieve stress and lubricate family inter-personal relationships.
take deep breaths, my dear dear friend, and remember this, above all else: you. are. loved. xoxoxoxo
boy can i relate, but you are very self-aware and know your most productive ways... follow your gut... your family loves you and will understand!
I had times where I started panicking in my (former) work life like that. I tried the wine thing and it really helps - unfortunately also helps you to put on some weight ;-). I started to understand that this panic does not help - but as you say - I function best if I run an autopilot - the panic just blocks me. I started to have confidence in the fact that it will all work out and I will accomplish the things I need to - maybe not totally perfect but good enough. Not usual for me - but it really helped me. Keep your spirits high. Nicki
Okay, I know your stressed but can we laugh about the fact that some things, my dear friend, do not change :D !! I do pray for your sake though, that you find the quiet you need, don't feel bad about it, and focus :)
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
And know this...
Life?
It goes on.
Enjoy the day!
Erin
Things are shaping up now. A rough patch here, a rough patch there, but as a whole things are moving smoothly. I just have to give into the work and worry less. The worry is what slows things down.
Post a Comment