Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Spinning Madly On...

I feel like a top that has been wound too tightly and am spinning a bit too fast and a bit too uncontrolled. I've piled my plate full of projects to do, all with coincidentally the same or nearly the same deadline. We're leaving on Friday for the Atlanta show and there's a million and one things that need to be done before then and I'm starting to feel the pressure.

Left to my own devices, I can suffer through the brunt of it. The sticky part is that under this kind of pressure, I need quiet and solitude and to let the autopilot run. If I try to plan and budget time too tightly or be around other people... it just doesn't work. It's like I'm firing blanks at a fast approaching monster. I feel guilty because I'm at my family's place and I enjoy spending time with them and want to, but I know I just won't get the work done that needs to get done. On a normal day, a minor disagreement about what time I should go to practice driving means nothing in the grand scheme of things. In a way, I've grown to appreciate it. But... when I'm already under pressure, it feels like nails embedded in my skull. Instead of zoning out and working through my deadlines, I start fixating on every word said and it's just not productive.

Right now... the world is spinning madly on.

7 comments:

Jenny said...

Wine. White or red - your preference. Administer min. 1 glass/evening. May up dosage as required. Do not exceed your personal level, or the next day will be worse. Studies show liberal consumption can relieve stress and lubricate family inter-personal relationships.

nina said...

take deep breaths, my dear dear friend, and remember this, above all else: you. are. loved. xoxoxoxo

mairedodd said...

boy can i relate, but you are very self-aware and know your most productive ways... follow your gut... your family loves you and will understand!

Nicki said...

I had times where I started panicking in my (former) work life like that. I tried the wine thing and it really helps - unfortunately also helps you to put on some weight ;-). I started to understand that this panic does not help - but as you say - I function best if I run an autopilot - the panic just blocks me. I started to have confidence in the fact that it will all work out and I will accomplish the things I need to - maybe not totally perfect but good enough. Not usual for me - but it really helped me. Keep your spirits high. Nicki

Jennifer said...

Okay, I know your stressed but can we laugh about the fact that some things, my dear friend, do not change :D !! I do pray for your sake though, that you find the quiet you need, don't feel bad about it, and focus :)

TesoriTrovati said...

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
And know this...
Life?
It goes on.

Enjoy the day!
Erin

Andrew Thornton said...

Things are shaping up now. A rough patch here, a rough patch there, but as a whole things are moving smoothly. I just have to give into the work and worry less. The worry is what slows things down.