The Small Things...

In a few hours, I'm heading off to Milwaukee for the Bead&Button Show.  This is perhaps the first time in a long time when I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of pressure, fatigue, and disappointment.  Generally before one of the big shows, I am rushing around at the eleventh hour trying to cram in as much as possible.  I make myself crazy with big plans that I ultimately can't complete.  I have a tendency to bite off more than I can chew and stay up the night before I'm supposed to leave trying to fit in as much as I can.

This time though, the kiln was broken.  So I couldn't squeeze in one more firing.  We only have one car and have to share it, so I couldn't run out on one more errand.  I'm flying out of a closer airport and while it will take eight hours to get there as opposed to one hour, I didn't have to schedule in an extra two hours to sit in traffic or force William to take a day off to shuttle me to Pittsburgh.    I forgot my jewelry kit at the store and I can't fuss over those last minute designs.  I accepted that I ran out of mailer envelopes and will just have to wait until after I get back before I can send things out.  (Don't worry if you ordered something during the Destash Sale, I placed a U-Line order and they should be waiting for me when I get back and I will send out the orders as soon as I return.)  Things that at first seemed like setbacks are actually responsible for this new acceptance.

All the small things that add up to make me crazy seem to be just what they are... small.  They seem like tiny little things in comparison to the big life events that are taking place.  After over twenty years, I have a brother again.  A huge pressure that has been squeezing at my heart has been released.  And I can just sort of be.  The obstacles that hurl themselves at me now are small and I can stride over them.  I can stop and appreciate the flowers instead of fretting if I need to check a bag or not check a bag.  I can stop and smile, happy to see my friends and family soon.  I can stop and be, and not worry about the small things.