Trying...

I was going back through some old blog posts and I realized just how important this place that really isn't a place used to be to me.  When I was struggling to find my voice, dealing with illness, or searching for long lost family members... this blog was here for me.  I wrote my heart out and wore it on my sleeve.

It isn't the same anymore.  I guess nothing ever really is.  We're always changing and in this world that moves all too quickly, why would it be any different?  I tried to think of a moment where it all started to change, but I couldn't really remember a single moment.

I think it was gradual, where the words dried up and I felt thinly spread.  I felt all talked out.  Over 12 years of posting, I suppose it wasn't a surprise.  With all the other platforms and only so many hours in the day, it was only natural that the steam would eventually start to wane.

Over the past few weeks, I've attempted to blog more regularly and it has certainly been a challenge.  Even so, I still want to capture the magic that was once there, to shake it up and make it live again.  I don't know if it's possible.  Or if I'm just grasping at straws and being nostalgic, but it doesn't feel over yet.  It especially doesn't feel done when I read back over some of the things I've written over the years and they still feel like something.  They don't feel dead and cold yet.  So, I guess I'll keep trying.