I thought of running through the pine forest of my youth, the sun coming through the branches in slanting lines of light. I remember the clean smell of resin in the air and the way I felt like I could run forever, darting through the trees quick and easily.
Fingers numb and my nose about to drip, the way was slow.
Up ahead, there were lights and singing. Ribbons and wreaths hung from every tree and pillar. The snow glittered, twinkling along with the festive festoons of holiday adornment. A warm feeling spread throughout me – a glad feeling. And it suddenly occurred to me that it was the same feeling I felt, when I was little and the forest seemed to go on infinitely. It was a feeling of happiness.
Sometimes that feeling is quick to come and sometimes it is slow to arrive. It can be found in the most unexpected places and at the most surprising times. I am reminded that things work at their own schedule and that they cannot be rushed nor hurried. Sometimes goals are reached early or late, but regardless, they are always right on time.
I caught myself worrying that we wouldn't make it with our fundraiser and that we wouldn't be able to bridge the gap with our meager savings. It dawned on me that worrying wouldn't help. We've worked hard and will continue to do our best right up until the end. I have a choice to either celebrate our successes and hope for the best, or get knotted up with dread. Despite my visions of success, I can't know the future for certain. I do know that it'll be here before we know it and what is meant to be will be. I can remind myself to be present. Be in the moment. Happiness is here, but whether or not I can recognize it for what it is, is ultimately up to me.
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